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Articles Written By Adam Utley

New Republican Chairman Seeks Eunuchs for Vacated Positions

New Republican Chairman Seeks Eunuchs for Vacated Positions

WASHINGTON — In response to Rep. Chris Lee’s (R-NY) resignation for another Republican sex scandal, new RNC Chairman Reince Priebus urged Republican eunuchs to “strongly consider, please” running for office. Priebus complained that he had a stack of files on ...

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Santa Claus Seeks Legal Authority to Rule by Decree

Santa Claus Seeks Legal Authority to Rule by Decree

Ellesmere Island Ice Shelves – After hopes foundered for an economic bounce back from weak holiday sales, senior international gift-giver, Santa Claus, has called on the Upper Arctic National Assembly meeting in Tuktoyaktuk, Canada to grant him broad powers to ...

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President Files Own Impeachment Forms as Part of Midterm Election Ritual

President Files Own Impeachment Forms as Part of Midterm Election Ritual

WASHINGTON — Upon return from his ten-day tour of Asia, President Obama gathered with newly empowered Republican leaders for the first time since the election. Both sides expressed a desire to avoid political gridlock. In a conciliatory move, the President’s ...

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