Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light.

SANTA CRUZ – Using data from the European Southern Observatory in Chile, an international team of scientists has detected a temperate planet orbiting an M-class dwarf star only twenty-two years from Earth. The team conceded that years of painstaking research has lost much of its glory with confirmation that interplanetary beverage retailer, Starbucks, has already established three coffeehouses there.

Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. MIAMI – Nearly two dozen former NFL players are suing the league over the fact that
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Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. On Friday North Korea’s official website Uriminzokkiri attacked South Korea and western nations for “unacceptable and
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Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. BENTONVILLE – Wal-Mart caught millions of shoppers off guard Thursday when it had to explain that
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Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. WASHINGTON – After decades of resistance to various proposals for a national identity card, a Strauss
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CUPERTINO  – To great fanfare, Apple, Inc. unveiled the iBetamax video recorder as part of its continuing venture into next generation technologies, following the passing of Apple visionary Steve Jobs. Apple says the iBetamax will “provide consumers the ability to record network television programming on smaller video cassettes and watch shows at their own leisure.”
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WASHINGTON – In response to Congressional grilling about the need for a $9 billion bailout for the United States Postal Service, postmaster general Derrick Donahoe confessed that, given the internet, the USPS is now better thought of a “crucial museum artifact” than a profit-making agency. Still, he added, “we really need that $9 billion or
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WASHINGTON – As the Republican debate season strengthens over the next two months, emergency managers from Florida to Nevada have urged residents to develop disaster plans and determine whether they live in evacuation zones. Forecasters are expecting six to seven presidential-candidate debates to hit landfall over the next three months, striking Des Moines, Las Vegas,
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LONDON – As youth riots continue to erupt throughout parts of Great Britain, several leading British bankers have complained that rioters have violated national bailout and plunder etiquette as laid down by the banking industry. “These protests are utterly unseemly and completely lacking in irony,” said Duncan Greenwood, chief executive of Lloyds Banking Group. “These
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WASHINGTON – Pentagon scientists on Friday acknowledged they were ecstatic concerning the second successful flight vaporization of an experimental hypersonic plane carrying millions of dollars in cash. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) glider, called the Falcon Hypersonic Technology Vehicle $320 Million (HTV-320), blasted off from Vandenberg Air Force Base in California atop a
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