After thorough discussion and review by Eric Holder, please accept with no obligation expressed or implied, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions ...
Read More »Way Off The Grid
WikiLeaks Revelations Prompt Unprecedented, Tearful State Department Apology
WASHINGTON — The United States’ top diplomat Hillary Clinton today applauded the recent WikiLeaks release of hundreds of thousands of documents that detail the nation’s strong-armed diplomatic pettiness against virtually every other country in the world. The disclosure of secret ...
Read More »Obama Administration Now Offering Free Physicals and Beer with Every Full-Body Airport Scan
WASHINGTON — After weeks of public outcry and lawsuit threats, the administration bowed to demands Monday and announced that airport full-body scans will now include an array of free outpatient diagnostic services and microbrew selections. TSA Administrator John Pistole said ...
Read More »President Files Own Impeachment Forms as Part of Midterm Election Ritual
WASHINGTON — Upon return from his ten-day tour of Asia, President Obama gathered with newly empowered Republican leaders for the first time since the election. Both sides expressed a desire to avoid political gridlock. In a conciliatory move, the President’s ...
Read More »Haiti Opts Out of Remainder of Hurricane Season
PORT-AU-PRINCE — After hurricane Tomas ripped through Haiti, destroying some 5,000 houses and causing 18 million dollars in new damage, Haiti’s Prime Minister Jean-Max Bellerive announced on behalf of the National Assembly that Haiti will withdraw from its current hurricane ...
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