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Part II: Role Reversal – Mom & Dad Moving In With You

In March 2011, I wrote an article called Role Reversal: Mom and Dad Coming to Live with You [1], which talked about readying your home for your parents to come live with you. This is a follow up to that article, which focuses on their health and nutritional needs.

You finally convinced your aged parents to move in with you and now they have settled down to a new lifestyle. You are no longer spending sleepless nights worrying about their comfort and health. You redesigned your home to make it “elder-friendly,” and your parents are comfortable in their living space. The bathrooms are easy to use with support bars and skid-proof bathtubs; the living area is clear of bulky furniture and rugs; and the kitchen is easy to navigate too. You have taken care of everything you possibly could think of to keep them happy and comfortable in their new home. They have led independent lives, raised a family, led successful careers, and now adapting to a new lifestyle requires some time and effort.

But the next step in making your parents as comfortable as possible is in addressing their nutritional needs, which are far more complicated than both your kids’ and yours combined.

There’s no doubt you were already dealing with a busy lifestyle and now you have added your parents to it. Whether you are working toward (or are already living off the grid), why not make this an opportunity to blend your parents’ lives seamlessly into yours? Easier said than done….but with a little planning you will be surprised at the outcome of how you and your parents can make the new arrangement work well.

Incorporating Mom and Dad’s Nutritional Needs with Your Lifestyle

Your parents’ nutritional needs are important for maintaining their general health. After all, you want them around as long as the good Lord will allow it. Certain health issues and the fact that their digestive system is weaker may make it difficult for them to get all the nutrients required for a balanced diet. Medications can cause lack of appetite and nausea. They may need supplemental nutrition to offset the inability to eat all foods that you cook for your family.

Their diets must be rich in fiber, calcium, protein, and vitamins. Older people secrete less saliva and some lose their ability to produce stomach acid. The slowing of the movement of food in the digestive system often results in constipation, which can be relieved with regular intake of fiber-rich foods, fruits, and vegetables. While commercial dietary fiber substitutes are convenient (psyllium or Metamucil for example), it is always best to increase fiber naturally. Depending upon your climate and growing zone, some of these suggestions might be difficult to grow for you, others a breeze. Some you could consider growing, if you don’t already, that can help mom and dad are:

If you live in an area where you grow your own wheat or it is plentiful because your neighbor grows it, consider adding it to your parents’ diet (assuming that they haven’t already. Of course it can be purchased as well.

Healthy alternatives to wheat include:

Good eating habits will keep them healthy. You can get additional information on nutrition for seniors here [2].

In Addition to the Fiber Intake

Here are some tips for providing nutritious food to your parents:

Part of Health Includes Mental and Emotional Well Being

Being a part of the sandwich generation can drain you emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. Take good care of yourself and do not feel guilty about doing so. It is critical that you make your well-being a priority in order to take care of your parents. Listen to your body and slow down if you feel overwhelmed. Look for resources in your community if you need help to care for your parents. Do not “parent” your parents and damage the relationship. Encourage communication between your parents and other family members and give everyone a chance to voice their thoughts and feelings.

Every care giving situation is unique but some factors bridge situations and families together. You can easily get lost in the care-giving situation, but you will be surprised to see that support can come in different forms, in support programs, from family, your church and online forums too. Useful tips are available in books, journals, magazines and on the web. Your decision to bring your parents into your home will be a blessing for you and your parents as they grow older and become weaker.