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It’s a concept as old as the hills — or at least, fairly close to it. Humans have often taken to burying their items of importance for the simple fact that it makes their stash incredibly difficult to find, and usually, the soil around it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Essentially, it allows an individual to utilize the endless expanse of land, whether owned or borrowed at the time, as a primitive “safe” of sorts. Why? A traditional safe is surely difficult to breach – but not impossible. In fact, it’s only a matter of time if an intruder has identified its location and possesses enough force to overpower its owner. That’s why safe-cracking thieves will run if they’re caught, but a company of armed dudes will simply throw it in their vehicle and drive off with you watching in disgust.
The Advantages of Keeping a Subterranean Stash
Burying valuable items basically uses land as the lock, and its hidden location as the secret combination.
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Since the earth is, well … big … the only real way to crack your safe is to accidentally stumble upon it by happenstance, or a thief will have to “persuade” you to disclose where it is.
In an underground cache, you’ll have the following problems to deal with…
- The ground naturally has a way of decomposing things, so a sturdy cache needs to be: waterproof (or contain items that aren’t affected by water), mold- and mildew-resistant, able to handle temperature changes, and able to offer protection from regularly occurring geological forces and pressures.
- The more often you check your cache, the higher the chance that it might be discovered by people searching for it — and even by curious onlookers. So you can’t need immediate or frequent access to whatever you’re storing in there.
Before We Begin: What’s Going In It?
Now I should clarify this point…
This post IS NOT intended for assisting those who wish to engage in illegal activity. This is for educational purposes only — and for those of us who don’t feel like handing our legal 1911 and 45ACP ammunition over to anyone.
With that said, you need to bear in mind that the things you place in your cache should be able to handle temperature changes. Also, just because it’s not going to be an absolute pristine environment inside it, your items should have some moisture resistance as well.
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So in other words, your last piece of wedding cake might not do to well in a stash for nine months (but a wrapped Twinkie may do just fine).
A Safe Cache (On a Budget)
Here’s just a quick tutorial on how to construct your DIY waterproof underground cache:
- First, it’s best if you acquire a container that already has a sealing mechanism in place, such as an O-ring and a cam lock. If nothing does the trick, then a PVC piping container is a great way to go, and can be constructed cheaply and easily, using weather-proof glue to keep it sealed and together.
- Next, you’ll need to place all your items inside the container before you close it off, and make sure you’re comfortable with this being the last time you’ll see these items for a long while. And just as an added protection, be sure to wrap them in more waterproof plastics for good measure. (By the way, don’t accidentally drop your wedding ring in the container, because that will be a very difficult issue to explain to the spouse.)
- Once that’s done, it’s time to add two to four coats on the entire surface of the container with rubber spray sealant. Not only will the rubber have a slight reducing effect on impact, but it will also ensure that all possible leaks are covered.
- Now, to ensure that your cache remains impact-proof, you can even add a coat of canned HVAC insulating foam — however, because this stuff comes out yellow, you might also want to throw on there an additional coat of weather-proof flat brown spray paint.
Just make sure you pick a good spot to hide your cache … and don’t forget where your buried it.
Do you have any tips on burying items underground? Share them in the comments section below:
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