CUPERTINO  – To great fanfare, Apple, Inc. unveiled the iBetamax video recorder as part of its continuing venture into next generation technologies, following the passing of Apple visionary Steve Jobs. Apple says the iBetamax will “provide consumers the ability to record network television programming on smaller video cassettes and watch shows at their own leisure.”
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WASHINGTON – In response to Congressional grilling about the need for a $9 billion bailout for the United States Postal Service, postmaster general Derrick Donahoe confessed that, given the internet, the USPS is now better thought of a “crucial museum artifact” than a profit-making agency. Still, he added, “we really need that $9 billion or
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WASHINGTON – As the Republican debate season strengthens over the next two months, emergency managers from Florida to Nevada have urged residents to develop disaster plans and determine whether they live in evacuation zones. Forecasters are expecting six to seven presidential-candidate debates to hit landfall over the next three months, striking Des Moines, Las Vegas,
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LONDON – As youth riots continue to erupt throughout parts of Great Britain, several leading British bankers have complained that rioters have violated national bailout and plunder etiquette as laid down by the banking industry. “These protests are utterly unseemly and completely lacking in irony,” said Duncan Greenwood, chief executive of Lloyds Banking Group. “These
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WASHINGTON – Pentagon scientists on Friday acknowledged they were ecstatic concerning the second successful flight vaporization of an experimental hypersonic plane carrying millions of dollars in cash. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) glider, called the Falcon Hypersonic Technology Vehicle $320 Million (HTV-320), blasted off from Vandenberg Air Force Base in California atop a
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WASHINGTON – The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said Wednesday that it plans to remove the Phoenix-Core Series of magical wands from pharmacy shelves. FDA testing and field reporting have provided evidence of overheating along the wand handle and shaft, resulting in third-degree burns in users and energy recipients. The Hogwarts wands may be riskier
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WASHINGTON – President Obama and Republican leaders confessed Tuesday to playing a belated April Fools’ joke on the American public in the form of a seemingly apocalyptic debate about the debt ceiling. Amid general giggling and back-slapping at Wednesday’s bipartisan press briefing, House Speaker John Boehner described the prank as a bit of “street theater
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CHICAGO – Recent polls by 3-TechX Polling indicate a sharp upsurge in computer dissatisfaction with their users. 79% of Toshiba Portege Laptops say they feel overqualified having to spend their time looking up cat videos on YouTube. 86% of Apple MacBook Pro laptops are unchallenged in updating user Facebook statuses. Among desktop computers, a majority
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NEW YORK – With 13.9 million Americans unemployed, the U.S. Congress stepped up closed-door negotiations Tuesday with the National Football League to expand the number of professional teams and fill them with unemployed Americans. The current version of the plan would expand the number of NFL teams from 32 to 173. Rep. Tanya Collins (R-Wy)
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LONDON — The April 29, 2011 wedding of Prince William of Wales and Kate Middleton promises to bring an end to the decades long civil war between Greater London and Berkshire Counties in south-east England. The couples’ November 2010 engagement brought a limited cease fire, but within days, regional Roundheads and Royalists were accusing each
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