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NEW YORK – With 13.9 million Americans unemployed, the U.S. Congress stepped up closed-door negotiations Tuesday with the National Football League to expand the number of professional teams and fill them with unemployed Americans. The current version of the plan ...

LONDON — The April 29, 2011 wedding of Prince William of Wales and Kate Middleton promises to bring an end to the decades long civil war between Greater London and Berkshire Counties in south-east England. The couples’ November 2010 engagement ...

RENO  — Twenty-nine air traffic controllers from nineteen major U.S. airports have united to demand on-duty nap time from the Federal Aviation Administration. The protesters began hunger strikes to raise awareness of their right to sleep after the latest of ...

WASHINGTON — Business celebrity and purported presidential candidate, Donald Trump formed an exploratory committee to develop a military strategy for having the Trump Empire invade the central Asian republic of Uzbekistan. “I think it’s important to impress upon people the seriousness ...

WASHINGTON — President Obama’s top national security officials gathered at the White House Wednesday to discuss what to do next about embattled actor Charlie Sheen. Senior administration officials remain doubtful that a no-fly zone would be effective, given that most of ...

WASHINGTON — In response to Rep. Chris Lee’s (R-NY) resignation for another Republican sex scandal, new RNC Chairman Reince Priebus urged Republican eunuchs to “strongly consider, please” running for office. Priebus complained that he had a stack of files on ...

ARLINGTON — After the eighteen-day success of mass protests in Egypt to overthrow its thirty-year dictator, groups of Americans have been moved to protest numerous injustices in the U.S. “It’s what all the cool kids are doing,” said Jeff Mantel, ...

WASHINGTON — The United States cannot fully recover from the worst recession in decades until “we use new metaphors about the economy,” Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said Thursday. Bernanke explained “we have long said things like ‘the U.S. economy is ...

by Jared Tatis OTTAWA — In a bold move to protect ice zones and glaciers throughout Canada, opposition parties in the Canadian parliament teamed up to pass a bill that bans any further glacial melting within Canadian territories. “Glacier melting ...

Ellesmere Island Ice Shelves – After hopes foundered for an economic bounce back from weak holiday sales, senior international gift-giver, Santa Claus, has called on the Upper Arctic National Assembly meeting in Tuktoyaktuk, Canada to grant him broad powers to ...