WASHINGTON – President Obama and Republican leaders confessed Tuesday to playing a belated April Fools’ joke on the American public in the form of a seemingly apocalyptic debate about the debt ceiling. Amid general giggling and back-slapping at Wednesday’s bipartisan ...
Read More »Trending Topics: Way Off The Grid
Computers Increasingly Resentful Over Their Wasted Skills
CHICAGO – Recent polls by 3-TechX Polling indicate a sharp upsurge in computer dissatisfaction with their users. 79% of Toshiba Portege Laptops say they feel overqualified having to spend their time looking up cat videos on YouTube. 86% of Apple ...
Read More »NFL and Congress Near Deal to Expand League to Reduce Unemployment
NEW YORK – With 13.9 million Americans unemployed, the U.S. Congress stepped up closed-door negotiations Tuesday with the National Football League to expand the number of professional teams and fill them with unemployed Americans. The current version of the plan ...
Read More »Royal Wedding Will End English Civil War, Gain Portion of France
LONDON — The April 29, 2011 wedding of Prince William of Wales and Kate Middleton promises to bring an end to the decades long civil war between Greater London and Berkshire Counties in south-east England. The couples’ November 2010 engagement ...
Read More »Air-Traffic Controllers Go on Hunger Strike for Right to Nap
RENO — Twenty-nine air traffic controllers from nineteen major U.S. airports have united to demand on-duty nap time from the Federal Aviation Administration. The protesters began hunger strikes to raise awareness of their right to sleep after the latest of ...
Read More »Donald Trump Aims to Prove Seriousness of Presidential Bid by Invading Uzbekistan
WASHINGTON — Business celebrity and purported presidential candidate, Donald Trump formed an exploratory committee to develop a military strategy for having the Trump Empire invade the central Asian republic of Uzbekistan. “I think it’s important to impress upon people the seriousness ...
Read More »U.S. Still Skeptical of No-Fly Zone Over Charlie Sheen
WASHINGTON — President Obama’s top national security officials gathered at the White House Wednesday to discuss what to do next about embattled actor Charlie Sheen. Senior administration officials remain doubtful that a no-fly zone would be effective, given that most of ...
Read More »Santa Claus Seeks Legal Authority to Rule by Decree
Ellesmere Island Ice Shelves – After hopes foundered for an economic bounce back from weak holiday sales, senior international gift-giver, Santa Claus, has called on the Upper Arctic National Assembly meeting in Tuktoyaktuk, Canada to grant him broad powers to ...
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